OK. This match-up is long overdue - I do apologize. Let's just cut to the chase.
Lansweeper "Sweepy" Classic vs. Young Dade "Zero Cool" Murphy
Round 1: Best Skills. Nobody can deny that Young Dade Murphy (a.k.a. "Zero Cool") was a child prodigy with insane skills - way ahead of his time. Likewise, LC (a.k.a. "Sweepy") is armed similarly with a plethora of highly trained skills. Under normal circumstances, this would most certainly be a tie - they are both equally unmatched in their respective fields. HOWEVER, "Zero Cool" crashed 1,507 computer systems, causing a 7 POINT DROP in the New York Stock Exchange. To the best of my research, "Sweepy" crashed two wall-mounted windows XP NOC Screen computers back in 2018, but conflicting evidence suggests that those two computers always prompted to put in the restore CD whenever they were rebooted anyways. Winner: Lansweeper Classic.
Round 2: Best Handle/Nickname. Young Dade Murphy was infamous in the hacker scene with his handle "Zero Cool." It had a cynical, Gen-X vibe that captured the time period perfectly. When you saw the handle "Zero Cool" somewhere in a computer system, you knew you'd better log off because you were on his/her turf. Lansweeper Classic's "Sweepy," on the other hand, well... I can't even say that its a Handle or a Nickname.. or a given name? It's unclear. What IS clear though, is that if you see "Sweepy" somewhere in a computer system, you can rest assured that it's for the good and wholesome purposes of accurately inventorying the device. This was a hard decision, and Zero Cool did crash 1,507 computers, but I have to stay objective here and judge only on the handle. Winner: (Tie)
Round 3: Best Accomplishments. It's perfectly clear out of the gate that both Young Dade and Sweepy have had great success in their careers. 'Zero Cool,' again, caused worldwide notoriety in the Hacker Scene by having skills so great that he.... (again).... crashed 1,507 computer systems. Conversely, my research shows that Sweepy has successfully scanned over a kabillion devices. Both are considerable accomplishments... BUT... I must concede that times have changed, and I have had coworkers in the past crash 1,507 computer systems accidentally as a normal daily routine. Winner: Lansweeper Classic
Round 4: Best Haircut. This one is tough. Both have the iconic "Splay" haircut - depicting both attention to detail and a 'Devil May Care' attitude. Young Dade Murphy had this style in 1988, versus Sweepy being born just a few years ago... so I'm going to have to go with Zero Cool on this one. Winner: Young Dade Murphy
Round 5: Best Attitude. Easy Choice. Young Dade "Zero Cool" Murphy had that handle for a reason. He even said later as a teen "I don't play well with others." You can clearly see his negative attitude in the picture above, where he's in court for crashing all of those computer systems. Lansweeper "Sweepy" Classic, on the other hand... I mean c'mon. It's Sweepy. Winner: Lansweeper Classic
Round 6: Most Trustworthy Around a Computer. Both are extremely skilled with computers, and one can always be sure that either one will accomplish what they set out to do on one... but this one is a no-brainer. Has Lansweeper "Sweepy" Classic ever been banned from using both computers and telephones until they were 18? I don't think so. The exact opposite actually - "Sweepy" scans computers and telephones every day, and can be trusted to do so without ill-purpose. Winner: Lansweeper Classic
RESULTS: Lansweeper "Sweepy" Classic: 4 - Young Dade "Zero Cool" Murphy: 1
WINNER: Lansweeper Classic.
Tune in next time for Sweepy's next match - Hackers' Joey Pardella!
Comments